Four weeks ago tomorrow, while on my bike. I hit a pot hole, a deep one. The bike stopped. I did not. Within seconds I knew that I had a compound fracture of the elbow and I would need surgery. The medics had trouble stopping the bleeding. Somehow, I felt calm.
A young man who stayed with me confided that he had anxiety problems. I told him how I got over my own anxiety, and recommended Eli Bay and The Relaxation Response which helped me, years ago.
Later that day, the surgeon told me that it had gone well, but he had needed to spend four hours on me. My humerus was broken into seven pieces (not including fragments), and it had been necessary for him to fracture the ulna to get at it. He put in three stainless steel plates and who knows how many screws plus some kind of artificial lattice work that bone likes to grow over to fill the space left by fragments that were too small to screw to anything. The nerves, thank God, are all intact.
The bones are knitting. The cast came off after three weeks, the screws holding everything together well enough to permit physiotherapy.
I will heal, although I will be prone to some degree of arthritis, and it is uncertain how much range of motion will return. The surgeon says that I might make a full recovery.
To say that it has been a difficult month would be an understatement. It has been a shock to the system, I have been in a lot of pain, and taken a lot of pills.
I have also asked myself a lot of questions.
I was doing a lot of that, even before the accident, having decided that it was time to make a few adjustments to my life as I head into its third act. Not to be melodramatic about it, but I’m not getting any younger, and I want these next few decades to be rewarding.
And so, with all of that on my plate, I ask for your prayers.
I have written many times on this blog about how meaningful life is, how everything is an opportunity for growth, and that ours is a glorious spiritual future. Ultimately, good comes from everything, either intrinsically or because that is what we choose to draw from it.
Here, in verse, is my response to what I have gone through:
A marvel ’tis that from co-mingled earth
and spirit comes the miracle of life.
Though met with simple love and joy at birth,
too soon, it wades through swirling want and strife.
When all goes well, our swelling hearts give praise
and thanks to Him above who authored us;
if aught goes ill, another thought we raise:
How can it be misfortune courts us thus?
Still I, In prayer, ask not for any thing,
no recognition nor relationship:
I only long for that which surely brings
such ease as overcomes the worst hardship:
I see that all my soul yet longs to see
is me as God created me to be.